If You Stay
By: Courtney Cole
Release Date: February 5, 2013
Series: Beautifully Broken
24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole.
He’s a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match.
But he’s got his reasons.
His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn’t understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count.
As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn’t work. His dad couldn’t overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn’t keep up the impossible perfect façade.
So he slipped far, far from it.
Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn’t want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn’t there, then it isn’t, right?
And it’s never more apparent than when he meets Mila.
Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn’t know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he’s got to figure it out because he needs her to breathe.
When memories of his mother’s death resurface from where he’s repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense. Mila is the one…the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness.
But only if he can stop being an asshole long enough to allow it.
He knows that. And he’s working on it.
But is that enough to make her stay?
So this book definitely started out with a huge bang, like HELLO I'm here
and I'm going to shock you and you are going to love it. I can definitely say I
loved the beginning of this book because it was real and as much of an a$$hole
as Pax is in this book you got to give it to him in this scene, if he was an
actor it would have been brilliant.
Like I said it started out really strong, then I'm not going to lie I was
slightly bored and not loving the main female character of Mila. She's
like a contradiction of herself in so many ways, she seems super sweet and very
innocent almost too much so but then she will paint in the nude, doesn't make
sense to me. She irritated me a little about how innocent she was trying
to be but a freak behind closed doors if you know what I mean (she’s the
epitome of the sweet girl but a freak in the sheets). I just can’t connect
There is definitely a story here as they've both been through the loss of
parents and even exposed to abuse, but I just didn't feel for the characters. I didn’t get that attachment I love to have
to characters while reading a book, it’s as if I was a third party going
through the motions. Pax is revered as
being such a bad boy but other than drinking and the drugs in the beginning he
doesn’t even seem that bad. Their scenes
together though, some were very steamy and racy and that is always
entertaining. They were unquestionably
some of the better scenes in the book.
But then something major happens, and I’ve connected to Pax. I feel for him and the things he has to go
through, to suppress such experiences and having them revealed so
suddenly. Such a horrible thing happened
to him and it all depends now on how he handles it and as long as he has his Mila
and his family he can get through it. This
happens in the middle of the book and I’m happy I got there finally, because
now it starts to flow with some action and not the r rated version, but the
kind of action that pulls at your heartstrings.
Overall this book started out with a bang and it definitely had its highs
and lows but when all is said and done it was an enjoyable book to read and I’m
happy I picked it up. I really love the
cover and that’s what initially made me want to pick this book up and read it.